Today's phrase is intestinal fortitude.

Today was our company picnic. Working for Poi, as stated before, can be a challenge on a personal level. Friday she said her new man would be at the company picnic so of course I said I sure wouldn't be there.
I mean who would?

One thing positive about this period, I have gotten much stronger internally. I have been knocked down so many times over the past few years and more so the past 7 months and I keep getting up. Yesterday I got to thinking that seeing POI's kids A&R would be more than worth the yuck of seeing POI and her man together. I wanted to take control and if I am as strong as I think I have become, than I could go today. I wanted to show A&R that they will always be a huge part of my head and heart. I could only do that by going to the picnic. I know they know but reinforcement is a good thing.

So I went and am so glad I did. One of POI's best friends was there as well, which was a real bonus. She's been a really good friend through this business. She's very loyal to POI and doesn't share everything but she has remained a wonderful friend. A&R's reception was tempered but nice. They didn't know I was going to be there. They also have loyalty for their mother. Those are two of the coolest best spirited kids ever. Ever! They're in my DNA. I love'em. POI has ended my communications with AorR but I did tell A that when I "like" his posts on FB I was saying hi. He said he knew.

So after an hour it was time to move. "A" and I had a few final laughs as he walked me to my car. I can go to bed knowing I did the right thing. I feel really good about going.

Well that didn't last long.

I decided to stay on Match for one more month...really. I did take about two weeks off. The problem with that was that excessive thinking returned. I even misinterpreted POI's friendly personable conversations recently as a sign of renewed interest. I was very wrong.

Match, if nothing else is an interesting diversion and a rather surreal ego boost. This morning I got a message from a 61 year old woman from Statesville, NC. That's like 150 mils away. Why?

Tomorrow is Spiritedgal6 from Chapel Hill. She is a research scientist for a pharmaceutical company. I'm looking forward to it. I have avoided women from Wake Forest where POI lives. I no longer shy away from Wake Forest and have been in touch with a couple of women there.

Match is way more time consuming than the past two times. I was crazy lucky. I'm going to try to be more open than I've been of late and get my head into this social exercise and finally move on.